Parrot — cockatoo. Played by Seth. Belongs to Eugene Munks.
A fat, old, barely-hanging-on cockatoo with clipped wings, a sensitive stomach, every allergy known to birds, and one hit point. He was raised by a noblewoman who fed him constantly and sang to him; when she died he found his way to worse company, and was then stolen by a monkey who decided he was the finest thing he had ever seen and has pampered him ever since.
He is very strong when properly motivated by food. He is something of a cannibal. He also sings beautifully, and his weapon is a Mega Poo.
Session 1 — Marley’s Bones
The one hit point never once slowed him down.
The dog dropped the stolen keys into his cage, slick with drool, and Chubs worked them into his own lock and then passed them along the line — which is how five birds got out of five cages. He left through the roof trailing three sausages in his talons.
He paid the King Crab a tribute of sausage in good faith, then doubled back and ate one of his children, which is the reason the crabs opened fire on them with rubber-band artillery an hour later. He took a rock in the gut and lived on one hit point.
He is also the reason the ghost got her name back. On the tranquil beach at sunset he sang to her — the old warbling he used to do for the noblewoman — and the lost, muttering thing on the sand stopped and said what a beautiful melody, my dear. I seem to be thinking a little clearer.
He sang again on a rum barrel at the fort so Kiwi could lift a guard’s key ring. He scouted the fort’s powder magazine. He pinned a rat to a gibbet floor, then carried him airsick across the docks to pick a jail lock. And outside the tavern he put a Mega Poo through a redcoat’s face and melted it down to bare skull.
Attendance Log
- Session 1: Marley’s Bones — September 19, 2026